..and I happily cried by the beautiful lake -side...

It was my second evening at The International Youth Forum ,Russia 2010. The excitment of coming all alone to Russia and as a part of the Indian Delegation had settled but my heart and mind had not..A million toughts were racing in my mind..

.. there I was sitting on the beach of the most beautiful lake of Russia-lake Seliger,after a day full of learning, with the evening colours casting a magical spell, so many young girls and boys all around --playing beach volleyball,trampolin, swimming,music , kayaking,surfing.etc.etc It was a perfect atmosphere anyone in thier teens would crave to experience...not that I wouldnt enjoy it too..but my mind was seeking for something more stronger, deeper...

I sat silently on the wooden achoring pathway jutting out in the lake..on one side was the view of the entire beach filled with "Masti" and the other view of the serene lake,the church on the island on the other side.. though CONTRASTING, it was alomst a perfect setting for me to reflect on my life, on myself..

( Its interesting but so true , that when you are away from the place u call home, from the people you call you dear ones, u tend to reflect on every incident and person of your life, from a non-judgemental, 3rd person, unbiased view..because all the things that could prejudice you - our society, culture, everyday-issues,competitive spirit among ppl, ill feelings,the system etc etc ---they do not exist at that point and place!)

I wanted to pour my heart out to someone - there was a storm inside me - but by my side ,my dear ones were not there to lend a shoulder..and sudddenly, amidst the crowd ,I was lonely..I perfectly now know what that feeling is...I looked at the horizon, but I knew I was miles away..my eyes searched in vain - I was alone..and then slowly down came my tears..I silenlty cried by the beautiful lake side....not even wanting to wipe my tears..

...I thought abt life,the choices I had made , my dreams and purpose behind them..I wanted to thank all my family ,friends and hug them(see the next upcoming post -What's freedom to a free bird?)

..and then I thought of my Parents -- I knew my mom must have thought of me and possibly let down one tear,wondering how I was and I had yet not got my Russian Sim card ;(.. they had agreed to send thier young girl all alone to Russia, to place where I just knew no one--Not a Soul! Now, this was a wonder because I had barely even travelled from Pune to Mumbai all alone..:) THAT WAS MY MOMENT OF REALISATION-- "my parents now consider me a matured young women who knows what she is doing..they trusted my capabilities, they believed in my dreams..they now felt thier girl was ready to face the world all alone, absorb,learn, fall,get up and grow -" Dad had said "its time to fly dear..go see the world, live your dreams and make a mark " -- Mom's words rang in my heart "go beta, we believe in you! I know you will make the most out of it"! I so wanted to run and hug my parents..all I could visualise was thier smiling faces-- proud of me!!

I think that one of the most awesome feelings as a child, and as a young adult comes when you know your parents can take you at par as an individual...when they believe in the dreams u see (however unconventional they might be..), and when as a person -you earn the title of being DEPENDABLE!!

Tears were still following down my cheeks, but there was a sense of happiness, of fullfillment and most importantly of gratitude!!! That vaccum inside me was now full with satisfaction..A renewd sense of Passion and determination fueled inside me..and the wind was gracious enough to quickly wisk away the tears on my check..

I was not felling alone anymore..all evening,the lake was accompanying me..the storm inside me had calmed down and so had the lake, revealing its true depth and magnimity...and though the evening hue was giving way to darkness..inside me, the Flames of Passion had lightened up my SOUL!!

I knew..I had become a bit more Stronger, a bit more Matured and a bit more Dependable!